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  "We’ll leave you alone Kay. Shout if you need us," Charlie says as I open my eyes, not even realising I'd closed them when my locks were let loose. Fear rolls in my stomach. No one other than my parents have seen my hair, at least not that I remember.

  "Yes, shout if you need anything, Kay." Crowley walks passed me slowly, then Connor behind him. My eyes watch as their cocks bounce against their thighs. I swallow thickly as they leave, a fully dressed Charlie behind them.

  Looking down at the soap in my hand, then to the water, I make my decision. I’m not weak; I have the power here. It’s mine, and I own it. I won’t allow what that monster did to me colour my future. I bend and peel off my boots, untying the rope on one and slipping it off, my device drops into the boot. Then do the same with the other, except this one’s tied with a piece of wire. The black socks on my feet are wrapped in plastic to keep them dry. I take them off with the knitted material and shove them into the boots.

  I look around me, making sure no one’s hidden in the trees. Even if they were, I couldn't see them in the faint light. I sniff the air like Baby does, and I can’t smell any Panda. Unlatching the wire holding my pants up I let them fall from my hips, my holey knickers follow. I roll them up and place them on top of my shoes, then remove my strappy top and jumper at the same time.

  I stand there bare and look at my body. Bruises are dotted here and there. My skin’s pale, dirty and marred with scratches and scars. Life in the wastes isn't for the faint of heart. I can't help but wonder how Connor survived. I run my hands over my ribs, the protruding bones making me wince. I could count them if I was so inclined. Food’s scarce out in the wastes. The condition of my body makes that obvious.

  Slowly walking into the cold refreshing water, I take my time submerging myself. I use the soap bar to scrape off months of dirt, dried blood and grime, washing until my skin’s red.

  "Kayla!" Up to my neck in the river the sound of my name being called makes me slip on the rocks under my feet and I plunge into the inky blackness. Large bodies of water are so rare that unless you’re camped right next to one, there just isn’t a need to learn how to swim. Mum's farm was close to water, but it wasn't deep or clean enough to swim in, so I'd never learnt.

  My head goes under and I start to panic. I kick and flail, my arms pinwheeling as I sink further. My body pulled deeper into the expanse of water like a leaf on the current. Surrounded by darkness, my mind can't comprehend what’s happening. Instead of my brain telling my body to fight to the surface, it goes limp. I drift further into the depths of my watery grave. The urge to draw in a lungful of air takes over, and my mouth opens against my will, allowing water to rush in. Twitching several times my body jerks, my eyes feel like lead. I close them and my world blinks out.

  "Kayla! Fuck!" Where am I? Is this the hell my mother taught me about? Cold, so cold. "Doll, breathe, please." The voice sounds like it's coming from miles away. I feel like I'm being dragged across sharp rocks and broken metal. The skin of my arse screams in pain as another sharp rock slices me. Pressure on my chest forces air into my lungs, soft plump lips cover my own. I realise I'm being kissed, and instinct takes over. Coughing the liquid from my body, I sit upright, aiming my forehead into the face of my assailant. Connecting soundly, I reach out taking hold of a hand, twisting it while I stand. I throw the mother fucker touching me through the air in a circle, letting go so he lands on his back in the shallow water.

  "Umph," a masculine voice sounds. Water splashes me in the face, making me finally open my eyes. When I do, it's to see Charlie clutching his stomach with one arm, the other cupping his nose, gasping for air.

  "Shit, Charlie!" I bend down next to him, there's nothing I can do to help him. The air’s been knocked out of his body. He’ll recover quickly and I see no blood, so I didn't bust his nose.

  "Ugh, god, Kayla. That was," his face scrunches up in pain. "A badass move, Doll," he says between gasping breaths.

  "I felt your lips on mine. I... I panicked." He seems able to breathe better now as he pushes off the rocks and sits up. I move back a little to give him space. His eyes drink me in, and suddenly I remember I almost died. "You… you saved me?" Why would he save me? He doesn't owe me anything. Soon he’ll go back to the city. He'll be safe and well fed, and I'll be a bad memory.

  "Yes, you were drowning. I was trying to force the water from your lungs and replace it with air." He laughs while moving his hair out of his face. Drawing up a leg he rests an elbow on his knee, his head in his hand. "Damn near knocked me out, Doll. Who taught you that?"

  "My Dad, Klaud. When I started to roam the wastes as a kid I was caught once or twice. He said I needed to learn how to take down a grown man." My eyebrows drew down. Why am I telling him this? "Anyway… thanks for saving me," I say awkwardly.

  Possibly the first time I've ever thanked anyone other than my parents. The words feel foreign on my tongue. It's then I see where he’s looking. I'm about to punch him in the throat when he says,

  "Sorry! I'm not… I'm not looking where you think I am. I swear!" He holds his hands in front of him as fury spreads across my face, heating my cheeks. I drop one hand to cover between my legs, the other I wrap around my flat chest.

  "That mark on your stomach, next to your belly button." I look down at the scar he mentions, about as long as my small finger, thin and white. The edges jagged and raised. I have no idea how I got that one, I have so many it’s impossible to keep track.

  "I did that." His head dips, looking at his bare feet in the water. "We were playing chase with sticks, pretending they were swords. I raced around the barn and so did you. We crashed into each other and my stick jabbed you. Man." His handsome face splits in a huge smile. "Your mum ripped me a new one, Kay. "Hurt my daughter and pay!" She screamed so loud my dad heard her at the other end of the field." He shakes his head and drops his hands onto his knees as I watch him relive a past I can’t remember.

  "Your mum was so fiercely protective of you and Ky. Black and Gold, that's what she called you," Charlie says.

  My heartbeat speeds up. Kay and Ky. Black and Gold. Blonde and black. My head starts swimming, so I sit crossed legged in the water in front of Charlie, no longer concerned with my nakedness. The water’s deep enough that it obscures between my legs, so I draw my knees up under my chin to hide my tiny breasts. Charlie gets as comfortable as possible and peels his shirt from his body, revealing scars across his chest.

  Of its own volition, my hand reaches out and my fingertips gently run across his puckered skin. He looks down and his hand comes up to cover mine.

  "The explosion." Charlie's voice cracks as he says it, and something inside me pings. I press my knees harder into my chest to quell the feeling building there. I feel safe with Charlie, even though I probably shouldn’t. "I wasn't far from Ky when it went off. A homemade grenade my dad said." His eyes shine with unshed tears in the moonlight. Sucking my bottom lip between my teeth I bite down. Turning my head to look out at the water, he continues,

  "Ky and I were playing, you were with Connor and Crowley near the barn. Kayla." My name on his lips makes me turn to look into his eyes.

  "Kyron passed instantly, he didn’t feel any pain or suffer. I took shrapnel to the chest, some to the face." His fingers lightly trace the raised edges of the scars slashed across his otherwise perfect skin. My eyes follow his actions. My mind tries to imagine what it must have looked like when it happened.

  "How did you survive that? It must’ve been close." A wound like that on his chest in the wastes was a death sentence.

  "Connor's dad. He took the three of us to the city. We were only meant to recover there. But when Con and Crow got better, he told us we were to stay there." He shakes his head sadly. "None of us wanted to stay. You hit your head and couldn't remember any of us. Your mother was a mess. Mr Keeper, he brainwashed us all, Kay. We wanted to come back to you." He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "We missed you." Closing the gap between us, his bare chest touches
my knees. "I missed you." Just as our lips meet Baby jumps into the water, splashing us both.

  "Baby!" I mildly scold him. The moment has passed, and we move apart.

  "Let me wash your hair, Doll, turn around." Shocked, and more than a little confused, I turn. Shocked because no one’s ever taken care of me like this before, except mum. Confused because I want Charlie to do this. With my back to him I spread my legs out in front of me, washing my legs again as he begins to pour water over the length of my dirty hair.

  "Pass me the soap, oh wait." Suddenly his hands disappear, and I hear him splash out of the river, turning to watch as he rummages in a bag on the bank.

  "What's that?" I ask as he settles behind me again. I caught glimpses but I don't know what it was.

  "A brush. It'll get the knots out of your hair." Huh.

  "Brush," I say, testing the word. Usually, I just run my fingers through it until it's a little more manageable, then tie it back with a bit of cable and shove my wig over the top.

  Charlie works for a long time, washing and then rinsing over and over until the strands squeak with cleanliness. I relax my body; his motions make my eyelids heavy. It feels nice to be touched like this after so long without human contact. Despite the fact I’m naked, Charlie makes no move to touch me sexually. Which probably saves his life.

  "There," he says softly, pulling me out of my trance. I reach up to feel he’s braided my hair down my back. Much like my mother used to do when I was little, so the wig sat flat on my head. I couldn't master it, so I just scrunched it up and tied it.

  "Beautiful," he says. I lean back a little and he moves forward. His arms come around my waist, my back to his chest. Letting my head fall back onto his shoulder, I draw in a big breath. I own the power, it’s mine.

  "Thank you." More relaxed than I've been in, well, forever.

  "You're welcome, Doll." He rests his chin on my shoulder, his lips next to my ear "You would let me play with it for hours when we were kids. You'd braid mine, and I'd do yours." Humour laces his voice. "The other two would constantly poke fun at my girly hair." The breath leaving his mouth tickles my ear, “But you never did.”

  “I like it, Charlie,” I say quietly. For reasons unknown to me, I feel more relaxed and safer in Charlie's arms than at any other time of my life. We fall into a comfortable silence as he holds me.

  Baby rolls over, soaking his fur through, washing himself in the now soapy water that surrounds us. Both of us taking advantage of the rare opportunity to get clean.

  "Haven't seen a lion in years." Charlie breaks the silence finally.

  "Oh? I had no idea he was a lion. I thought he was a dog," I reply sleepily. Charlie's chuckle vibrates against my back, the sound familiar. Gently he leans me forward and brings a leg to rest against mine, the other doing the same until I'm seated between his legs instead of against them. I'm naked, but he has pants on. It feels intimate but safe at the same time. I don’t feel threatened or have the urge to stab him. We sit like that for a long time, it feels comfortable to be in each other's silent company.

  "Let's get back, Doll, tomorrow will test us all." Tomorrow. I don't know what’s happening for them. For me, it’s when I leave these three men who claim to know me. Who stir long dead feelings and emotions inside me. I cannot wait. Or can I?

  Charlie stands and turns around to give me privacy. Having no other clothes, I put my dirty ones back on before we head back to their camp. It's pitch black now and because I don't know this area, I trip and fall some on the way. Charlie takes hold of my hand, keeping me from falling on my face. By the time we get back, Connor and Crowley are sitting at the tree table with metal bowls in front of them. The area’s lit with flaming torches strategically placed around the camp.

  "Want some, Kay?" Connor asks as he stands and strolls into the Campo. Crowley stares at our joined hands, a strange look on his face.

  "What?" I ask him while trying to sit down, which is difficult since Charlie seems very reluctant to let my hand go.

  "Nothing." His grin’s lopsided. "Have a good time at the river?"

  "Not like that, Crow," Charlie says, a light warning in his tone.

  "How then?" Crowley hedges.

  "I washed her hair," Charlie replies through his teeth,

  "Annnd?" Crowley draws out the word, wagging his eyebrows up and down. I have no idea what’s going on here.

  "And nothing. She's just met us. Put it away." My head swings between them as they talk, completely confused by what's happening.

  "Sorry, Kayla. We've… we’ve waited a long time to find you,” Charlie apologises.

  Like their wait for me explains this odd behaviour. At that moment Connor appears in the corner of my eye, making me jump. Caught off guard! What the fuck? I've become too comfortable in their camp. I need to get out of here before I lose my edge. He gives Crowley a look I can't decipher and places a bowl in front of me.

  "What is it?" I touch the white gooey stuff with a finger. It burns.

  "Porridge." Connor answers like that explains it.

  "What's porridge?" I ask no one in particular, he passes me a metal scoop type thing and I look at it in confusion. What am I meant to do with this?

  "It's a spoon," he provides as he sits opposite me. Charlie finally let's go of my hand, so I wrap them around the bowl and lift it to my lips. All three men stare at me as I try to pour this porridge stuff into my mouth. Only it doesn't move, it just stays at the bottom of the bowl.

  "Use the spoon, Doll." I turn to look into Charlie's brown eyes. The flames reflect back at me, making them dance.

  "Spoon?" He points to the scoop Connor passed me.

  "Scoop it up with the spoon. Like this." Crowley demonstrates for me. I emulate his actions, scooping up the awful smelling gloop and shove it in my mouth. I feel like an idiot, I know what a spoon is but not having used one in such a long time, I’d forgotten about them. I barely feel human some days.

  "Yuck," I say after I shovel the entire contents into my mouth and lay the bowl and spoon down. "Where am I sleeping?" I ask.

  Connor answers, his brows in his hairline. "There’s a space in the Campo," he says absently, his mouth open slightly and a look of confusion on his face. I look to Charlie and Crowley; each wears the same look

  "Food’s scarce. Even if it tastes like shit, I still eat it. Charlie," I turn to him reaching out a hand, I close his mouth gently. "Show me where I'm sleeping? I'm exhausted." I stand, not waiting for him to follow. I walk into the white building-like structure. Inside its tent-like, the walls and doors made of some kind of shiny material. Three doors are in front of me and one either side.

  Which one’s me? One across from me is open, revealing a large trunk. It looks old and has many battle scars on the front and top. Interesting,

  "This one, Doll." Charlie appears at my side and unzips a doorway, places his hand at the bottom of my back and gently guides me into a small yet warm space. I like the way his hand feels on me.

  "Wow. It's… clean." Looking around me, I realise these guys have it made. My shack and Old Yella are awful compared to this.

  "What's that?" I ask, pointing to the metal thing along the back wall, at the same time something clicks in the back of my mind. A bed dumb-dumb. Have I completely forgotten how to be human?

  "A bed. You sleep on it instead of the floor. It's soft, see?" He walks over to the bed and sits on it, bouncing a few times. When I stayed at the farm with my family, we slept on the floor. In Old Yella and my other hideaways around the wastelands, I collect rags and made my bed out of them. But it was still on the floor. This is raised off the ground and covered in a dull black material with legs and a thick creamy coloured… thing on top of it.

  "Mattress," Connor provides from behind. I don't turn as he slips into the space. My eyes are too curious to look away from the bed. My legs move me forward, sitting next to Charlie. I bounce like he did. A giggle slips out as my bottom jumps up and down on the soft mattress thingy.

&
nbsp; "Wow! It's soft. And bouncy!" I lose myself for a few moments and just bounce my arse off the bed. I get to sleep on this thing? I could hardly wait. The guys watch me with a mixture of emotions on their faces, ones I don't know the names of. Once I've had my fun, I clear my throat. "Um guys? I really need to sleep now."

  "Of course. Here." Connor thrusts a pile of cloth at me. "Clothes. We brought some from the city for you. We didn't know... we figured..."

  "We thought you might appreciate new clothes, Kay. The city produces them in large quantities." Charlie helps by explaining. Pink with bright green trim, I lift the top piece from the pile and let it unfold. A short-sleeved t-shirt with a picture of an animal on the front. Not just any animal, but one of those on my device.

  "Thanks!” I say excitedly. Clothes without holes? Score! Without thought, I slip my own dirty, hole-ridden top over my head and drop it to the floor. Just as I pull the new t-shirt over my head Crowley walks in.

  "Bloody hell," he grumbles.

  "Crow," Charlie says firmly as I tug the hem of my pink t-shirt down to cover my small tits. Seriously, they’re small and more nipple than tissue so they shouldn't be affected by them. My body doesn’t have an ounce of fat on it. For that you have to actually eat.

  "I keep forgetting I'm not alone. I'm so used to just… undressing quick, in case of Panda..." I duck my head and sit back down. You gotta be quick if you want to survive in this world.

  "We don't mind. Shit. Sorry, darlin." Crowley rubs his hand across his beard. "We've been out here six months looking for you, it's been rough."

  "Oh," is all I can masterfully come up with. I know sex is an important thing to men, and I also know it can be pleasurable for both the male and the female. But having never experienced that, I can't tell him I understand. The thought of sex scares me a little, but I own the power. His leering pisses me off though.